Relationships

Is Non-monogamy the Natural State for Humans?

(Content Warning: Mentions sexual assault and rape in behaviour of monkeys.) I hear this claim a lot in the consensually non-monogamous communities: “Non-monogamy is the natural state for humans.” “Sex at Dawn” is a very popular resource book that people tend to reference when making that claim. In it, authors, Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá, …

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What DO You Do? A Chronicle of the Last Six Years

Don’t get me wrong. Everything I did for my family, giving help where I could and the visits – it’s all part of a life well lived – and what anyone would do, and I would do it all again. I NEED to be able to be there for others too, if I’m able at all. I don’t blame them or resent them for anything. I love them and am so grateful for them and have no regrets. My symptoms are just part of my new normal now that I have to live with.

Being Ambiamorous: Part Poly, Part Mono

Usually one hears “I’m Ambiamorous because I can be HAPPY in either mono or poly relationships” – and bless them for having that experience. At first glance, the term made sense intellectually (just looking at my history) but it didn’t quite resonate emotionally. I do feel happy…SOMETIMES… and I also experience SOME level of discomfort in ALL of my relationships much of the time.

Are There Successful Mono/Poly Relationships?

Yes. Mono/Poly or consensually non-monogamous relationships CAN work. However, many people don’t believe so. Even some polyamorous authors like Kathy Labriola, author of The Jealousy Workbook, don’t think they work. Kathy claims “mono/poly relationships are doomed” . Why do they think mono/poly relationships are “doomed”? Because there’s misalignment in needs and values. Monogamy SEEMS to …

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What is Personal Dissonance & Why Do We Need It?

You’ve probably heard of Cognitive Dissonance which is the discomfort we feel when we have two conflicting thoughts or a conflict between beliefs and actions. For example, you care about the environment, but you use plastic bags. You may have a general feeling of discomfort or may even feel angry with yourself, but do it …

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