Usually one hears “I’m Ambiamorous because I can be HAPPY in either mono or poly relationships” – and bless them for having that experience. At first glance, the term made sense intellectually (just looking at my history) but it didn’t quite resonate emotionally. I do feel happy…SOMETIMES… and I also experience SOME level of discomfort in ALL of my relationships much of the time.
Yes. Mono/Poly or consensually non-monogamous relationships CAN work. However, many people don’t believe so. Even some polyamorous authors like Kathy Labriola, author of The Jealousy Workbook, don’t think they work. Kathy claims “mono/poly relationships are doomed” . Why do they think mono/poly relationships are “doomed”? Because there’s misalignment in needs and values. Monogamy SEEMS to …
You’ve probably heard of Cognitive Dissonance which is the discomfort we feel when we have two conflicting thoughts or a conflict between beliefs and actions. For example, you care about the environment, but you use plastic bags. You may have a general feeling of discomfort or may even feel angry with yourself, but do it …
What is Personal Dissonance & Why Do We Need It? Read More »
When I married my husband, Greg, we were monogamous, but we hadn’t always been. I found him on OKCupid following the end of a seven year relationship with my third husband. Greg was in a polyamorous marriage, that ended shortly after we started dating. I had been consensually non-monogamous/polyamorous in other relationships in my life …
When we are in the throes of NEW RELATIONSHIP ENERGY, we are actually, and quite literally, high; as if we’re on drugs. Our brain chemistry is affected, with more “happiness-inducing” chemicals being released regularly. And it can last 6 months to TWO YEARS. It’s designed to keep us together with a partner long enough to …
One of the most common questions I’ve had posed to me as a coach is “Can I save my relationship?” The answer is always “Yes – but you need to be sure you actually WANT to.” Wanting to save a relationship in trouble is a natural response. The relationship is with someone we love, have …
