Relationships

Being Ambiamorous: Part Poly, Part Mono

Usually one hears “I’m Ambiamorous because I can be HAPPY in either mono or poly relationships” – and bless them for having that experience. At first glance, the term made sense intellectually (just looking at my history) but it didn’t quite resonate emotionally. I do feel happy…SOMETIMES… and I also experience SOME level of discomfort in ALL of my relationships much of the time.

Are There Successful Mono/Poly Relationships?

Yes. Mono/Poly or consensually non-monogamous relationships CAN work. However, many people don’t believe so. Even some polyamorous authors like Kathy Labriola, author of The Jealousy Workbook, don’t think they work. Kathy claims “mono/poly relationships are doomed” . Why do they think mono/poly relationships are “doomed”? Because there’s misalignment in needs and values. Monogamy SEEMS to …

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What is Personal Dissonance & Why Do We Need It?

You’ve probably heard of Cognitive Dissonance which is the discomfort we feel when we have two conflicting thoughts or a conflict between beliefs and actions. For example, you care about the environment, but you use plastic bags. You may have a general feeling of discomfort or may even feel angry with yourself, but do it …

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Two Types of People in a Relationship

There are two types of people in a relationship; Collectors and Investors.

 Collectors WANT something from you; it might be romance, intimacy, friendship but they want something that you have to offer. They want to vent to you, have you listen, appreciate and witness their lives and when they’re done with you, they put you on the shelf. Not a great feeling;believe me; especially once you’ve discovered your own worth. That’s when these types of relationships start to flounder, because as long as you DON’T know what you deserve to have in a relationship, you can subsist here for quite a long, lonely time.